Chapter 11: Development of Self and Identity
Domains of Identity
As mentioned previously, there are several significant areas of identity development, and each domain may progress through the identity development process independently. Some of the most widely studied domains of identity development include cultural, gender, sexual, ideological, and occupational identity.
Cultural Identity
Cultural identity refers to how people come to terms with whom they are based on their ethnic, racial, and cultural ancestry. According to the U.S. Census (2012), more than 40% of Americans under the age of 18 are ethnic minorities. At this point, you are probably aware of the cultural groups to which you belong (i.e., “I am a Latino, middle-class, (almost) college-educated male”). Do you remember the process of coming to awareness of your cultural identity—when did you know you were white and what that meant? Was it during childhood, as a teenager, or reading this chapter? Has your understanding, or acceptance, of your racial heritage changed during your lifetime?
For most people, it does. Just as Piaget organized the growth of children according to various stages of development, cultural scholars have similarly organized racial awareness along models and stages. Before explaining the various models, let us make a couple of general comments about models. One, a model is not the thing it represents. Is the model car you played with as a child the same as the actual automobile? What were the differences? Size, time, maneuverability, details? These same kinds of differences exist between the model of racial identity development and the actual personal process. However, just like the car model gives a relatively accurate picture of the actual automobile, so do the racial identity models. Two, these models are general and not meant to fit perfectly to every individual’s experience. With that said, let us examine the process of coming to an understanding of our racial identity.
Video 11.8 Demographic Structure of Society–Race and Ethnicity provides more information on the structures of race and ethnicity and how minority and majority identity is constructed.
Minority Identity Development
Ethnic identity refers to how people come to terms with who they are based on their ethnic or racial ancestry. “The task of ethnic identity formation involves sorting out and resolving positive and negative feelings and attitudes about one’s ethnic identity” (Phinney, 2006, p. 119). When groups differ in status in a culture, those from the non-dominant group have to be cognizant of the customs and values of those from the dominant culture. The reverse is rarely the case. This makes ethnic identity far less salient for members of the dominant culture. In the United States, those of European ancestry engage in less exploration of ethnic identity, than do those of non-European ancestry (Phinney, 1989). However, according to the U.S. Census (2012) more than 40% of Americans under the age of 18 are from ethnic minorities. For many ethnic minority teens, discovering one’s ethnic identity is an important part of identity formation.
Phinney’s model of ethnic identity formation is based on Erikson’s and Marcia’s model of identity formation (Phinney, 1990; Syed & Juang, 2014). Through the process of exploration and commitment, individuals come to understand and create an ethnic identity. Phinney suggests three stages or statuses with regard to ethnic identity:
Unexamined Ethnic Identity: Adolescents and adults who have not been exposed to ethnic identity issues may be in the first stage, unexamined ethnic identity. This is often characterized by a preference for the dominant culture, or where the individual has given little thought to the question of their ethnic heritage. This is similar to diffusion in Marcia’s model of identity. Included in this group are also those who have adopted the ethnicity of their parents and other family members with little thought about the issues themselves, similar to Marcia’s foreclosure status (Phinney, 1990).
Ethnic Identity Search: Adolescents and adults who are exploring the customs, culture, and history of their ethnic group are in the ethnic identity search stage, similar to Marcia’s moratorium status (Phinney, 1990). Often some event “awakens” a teen or adult to their ethnic group; either a personal experience with prejudice, a highly profiled case in the media, or even a more positive event that recognizes the contribution of someone from the individual’s ethnic group. Teens and adults in this stage will immerse themselves in their ethnic culture. For some, “it may lead to a rejection of the values of the dominant culture” (Phinney, 1990, p. 503).
Achieved Ethnic Identity: Those who have actively explored their culture are likely to have a deeper appreciation and understanding of their ethnic heritage, leading to progress toward an achieved ethnic identity (Phinney, 1990). An achieved ethnic identity does not necessarily imply that the individual is highly involved in the customs and values of their ethnic culture. One can be confident in their ethnic identity without wanting to maintain the language or other customs.
The development of ethnic identity takes time, with about 25% of tenth graders from ethnic minority backgrounds having explored and resolved the issues (Phinney, 1989). The more ethnically homogeneous the high school, the less identity exploration and achievement (UmanaTaylor, 2003). Moreover, even in more ethnically diverse high schools, teens tend to spend more time with their own group, reducing exposure to other ethnicities. “[The] transition to college may serve as a consciousness-raising experience that triggers exploration” (Syed & Azmitia, 2009, p. 618).
It is also important to note that those who do achieve ethnic identity may periodically reexamine the issues of ethnicity. This cycling between exploration and achievement is common not only for ethnic identity formation, but in other aspects of identity development (Grotevant, 1987) and is referred to as MAMA cycling or moving back and forth between moratorium and achievement.
Bicultural and Multiracial Identity Development
Ethnic minorities must wrestle with the question of how, and to what extent, they will identify with the culture of the surrounding society and with the culture of their family. Phinney (2006) suggests that people may handle it in different ways. Some may keep their identities separate, others may combine them in some way, while others may reject some of them. Bicultural identity means the individual sees themself as part of both the ethnic minority group and the larger society. Those who are multiracial, that is whose parents come from two or more ethnic or racial groups, have a more challenging task. In some cases, their appearance may be ambiguous. This can lead to others constantly asking them to categorize themselves. Phinney (2006) notes that the process of identity formation may start earlier and take longer to accomplish in those who are not mono-racial.
Gender Identity, Gender Constancy, and Gender Roles
Sex refers to the biological differences between males and females, such as genitalia and genetics (National Academies, 2022). Gender refers to the socially constructed characteristics of women and men, such as norms, roles, and behaviors (National Academies, 2022). Gender identity is how a person conceptualizes and understands their gender, which can change over time (Family Institute, 2022; National Academies, 2022). Cisgender is an umbrella term used to describe people whose sense of personal identity and gender corresponds with their birth sex, while transgender is used to describe people whose sense of personal identity does not correspond with their birth sex (Family Institute, 2022).
Gender expression is how people demonstrate their gender through clothing, behavior, and interactions with others; it is a spectrum that includes feminine, masculine, androgynous, and several other identities (Family Institute, 2022; National Academies, 2022). When a person’s assigned sex does not align with their gender identity, they may refer to themselves as transgender, non-binary, or gender-nonconforming (Family Institute, 2022).
Gender Identity Development
Infants observe messages about gender from adults’ appearances, activities, and behaviors (National Center, 2024). Interactions between infants and their parents are shaped by the sex of the baby, which also affects the child’s understanding of gender (Cerezo, 2017; National Center, 2024). Toddlers (18-24 months) begin to define gender and use messages from many sources, such as patterns in their homes and daycares. They start to use gender labels in their speech, and may seek out more gender-typed toys like dolls or trucks (Martin & Ruble, 2010).
Preschoolers (3-6 years) become more interested in what it means to be male or female. They may look for physical differences, as well as what activities and behaviors are considered “acceptable” for each. Cross-cultural studies reveal that children are aware of gender roles by age two or three, and by age four or five, start to behave according to them (Kane, 1996). Children acquire these roles through socialization, a process in which people learn to behave in a particular way as dictated by societal values, beliefs, and attitudes. As an effect of socialization, children may overgeneralize and stereotype the attitudes, traits, and behaviors of different genders. However, children who are allowed to explore different toys, are exposed to non-traditional gender roles, and participate in non-traditional play tend to have broader definitions of what is gender appropriate and may do less gender stereotyping.
Around age 6, children develop a sense of gender constancy, or understanding that superficial changes to their appearance does not mean that their gender has actually changed (Martin & Ruble, 2010). For example, if you are playing with a two-year-old boy and put barrettes in his hair, he may protest saying that he doesn’t want to be a girl. By the time a child is seven years old, they have a solid understanding that wearing barrettes does not change their gender.
Adolescents may experience fluidity and uncertainty about their sex and gender. This comes at a time in development when their hormones are fluctuating, they are undergoing physical and cognitive changes, and creating a sense of their identity (Reisner et al., 2016; Steensma et al., 2013). Attitudes and norms about gender keep changing, so determining one’s gender identity can take time and undergo many revisions. The roles appropriate for men and women are also evolving, and some adolescents may adopt stereotypic masculine and feminine roles or foreclose on their gender identity altogether (Sinclair & Carlsson, 2013). Those that identify as transgender face even more significant challenges like bullying.
Watch It
Video 11.9 This clip from Upworthy shows how some children were surprised to meet women in traditionally male occupations.
It is important to understand these typical attempts for children and adolescents to understand the world around them. It is helpful to encourage children and support them as individuals, instead of emphasizing or playing into gender roles and expectations. You can foster self-esteem in children of any gender by giving all children positive feedback about their unique skills and qualities. For example, you might say to a child, “You were very helpful with clean-up today—you are such a great helper” or “You were such a strong runner on the playground today.” If an adolescent is questioning their gender, it is important to provide them with space and support to do so.
Encouraging Healthy Gender Development
You can see more of their resources and tips for healthy gender development by reading Healthy Gender Development and Young Children.
https://assessments.lumenlearning.com/assessments/16585
Theories of Gender Identity Development
Cognitive Approaches
Cognitive learning theory states that children develop gender at their own levels. At each stage, the child thinks about gender characteristically. As a child moves forward through stages, their understanding of gender becomes more complex.
According to Kohlberg’s cognitive development theory, children recognize their gender identity around age three but do not see it as relatively fixed until five to seven.
Stage 1: Gender Labeling (2-3.5 years). The child can label their gender correctly (e.g.,
“I am a boy.”)
Stage 2: Gender Stability (3.5-4.5 years). The child understands that gender remains the same across time (e.g., a boy will grow up to be a man; a girl will grow up to be a woman). However, superficial changes in appearance (e.g., hair length, clothing options) and choice of activity may be confusing for children. For example, they may not understand that a girl who plays football and has short hair is still a girl.
Stage 3: Gender Constancy (6 years). The child understands that gender is independent of external features (e.g., clothing, hairstyle). They now understand that a boy with long hair is still a boy.
Gender identity provides children the foundation to form gender schemas; an organized set of gender-related beliefs that influence behaviors. The formation of these schemas explains how gender stereotypes become so psychologically ingrained in our society. According to Bem’s gender schema theory, children develop their own conceptions of the attributes associated with maleness and femaleness (Bem, 1981). Once children have identified with a particular gender, they seek out information about gender traits, behaviors, and roles. Information about gender is gathered from the environment; thus, children look for role models to emulate maleness or femaleness as they grow. This theory is more constructivist as children are actively acquiring their gender. For example, friends discuss what is acceptable for boys and girls, and popularity may be based on what is considered ideal behavior for their gender.
Social Cognitive Approach
Social Cognitive Theory suggests that gender role socialization is a result of how parents, teachers, friends, schools, religious institutions, media, and others send messages about what is acceptable and desirable behavior for males and females. If children receive reinforcement, they are motivated to continue a particular behavior; if they receive punishment, they are motivated to stop that behavior. In terms of gender development, children receive praise when they engage in culturally appropriate gender displays and punishment if they do not. When aggressiveness in boys is met with acceptance or a “boys will be boys” attitude, but aggressiveness in girls is frowned upon, children learn different meanings for aggressiveness related to their gender development. Thus, boys may continue being aggressive while girls may try to avoid acting aggressively.
This socialization begins early—in fact, it may even begin when a parent learns that a child is on the way. Knowing the sex of the child can conjure up images of the child’s behavior, appearance, and potential on the part of a parent. This stereotyping continues to guide perception through life. Consider parents of newborns. When shown a 7-pound, 20-inch baby, wrapped in blue (a color designating males in the United States), parents describe the child as tough, strong, and angry when crying. When shown the same infant in pink (a color designating females in the United States), parents describe the baby as pretty, delicate, and frustrated when crying (Maccoby & Jacklin, 1987). Female infants are held more, talked to more frequently, and given more direct eye contact, while male infants’ play is often mediated through a toy or activity.
One way children learn gender roles is through play. Parents typically supply boys with trucks, toy guns, superhero paraphernalia, and other active toys that promote motor skills, aggression, and solitary play. Daughters are often given dolls and dress-up apparel that foster nurturing, social proximity, and role play. Studies have shown that children will most likely choose to play with “gender appropriate” toys (or same-gender toys) even when cross-gender toys are available because parents give children positive feedback (praise, involvement, physical closeness) for gender normative behavior (Caldera, Huston, and O’Brien 1998).
Sons are given tasks that take them outside the house and that have to be performed only on occasion, while girls are more likely to be given chores inside the home, such as cleaning or cooking, that are performed daily. Sons are encouraged to think for themselves when they encounter problems, and daughters are more likely to be given assistance even when they are working on an answer. This impatience is reflected in teachers waiting less time when asking a female student for an answer than when asking for a reply from a male student (Sadker and Sadker, 1994). Girls are given the message from teachers that they must try harder and endure in order to succeed while boys’ successes are attributed to their intelligence. Of course, the stereotypes of advisors can also influence which kinds of courses or vocational choices girls and boys are encouraged to make.
Friends discuss what is acceptable for boys and girls, and popularity may be based on modeling what is considered ideal behavior or appearance for different genders. Girls tend to tell one another secrets to validate others as best friends, while boys compete for position by emphasizing their knowledge, strength and accomplishments. This focus on accomplishments can even give rise to exaggerating accomplishments in boys, but girls are discouraged from showing off and may learn to minimize their accomplishments as a result.
One interesting finding is that girls may have an easier time breaking gender norms than boys. Girls who play with masculine toys often do not face the same ridicule from adults or peers that boys do when they want to play with feminine toys. Girls also face less ridicule when playing a stereotypical masculine role (like doctor) as opposed to a boy who wants to take a stereotypical feminine role (like caregiver).
Transgender Identity Development
Individuals who identify with a role that is different from their biological sex are transgender. Approximately 1.4 million U.S. adults or .6% of the population are transgender, according to a 2016 report (Flores et al., 2016).
Transgender individuals may choose medical treatments, such as surgery or hormonal therapy, to make their bodies better align with their gender identity. Not all transgender individuals choose to alter their bodies; many will maintain their original anatomy but present themselves to society as another gender. This expression is typically done by adopting the dress, hairstyle, mannerisms, or other characteristics typically assigned to the gender they identify with.
It is important to note that people who cross-dress or wear clothing traditionally assigned to a different gender is not the same as identifying as transgender. Cross-dressing is typically a form of self-expression, entertainment, or social commentary, and it is not necessarily an expression against one’s assigned gender (American Psychological Association, 2018).
After years of controversy over the treatment of sex and gender in the American Psychiatric Association Diagnostic and Statistical Manual for Mental Disorders (Drescher 2010), the most recent edition, DSM-5, replaced gender identity disorder with gender dysphoria. Gender identity disorder as a diagnostic category stigmatized the patient by implying there was something “disordered” about them. Removing the word “disorder” also removed some of the stigmas while still maintaining a diagnosis category that will protect patient access to care, including hormone therapy and gender reassignment surgery.
Many psychologists and the transgender community are now advocating an affirmative approach to transgender identity development. This approach advocates that gender non-conformity is not a pathology but a normal human variation. Gender non-conforming children do not systemically need mental health treatment. However, caregivers of gender non-conforming children can benefit from a mixture of psycho-educational and community-oriented interventions. Some children or teens may benefit from counseling or other interventions to help them cope with familial or societal reactions to their gender nonconformity.
The Impact of Gender Discrimination
How much does gender matter? In the United States, gender differences are found in school experiences. Even in college and professional school, girls are less vocal in class and much more at risk for sexual harassment from teachers, coaches, classmates, and professors. These gender differences are also found in social interactions and in media messages. The stereotypes that boys should be strong, forceful, active, dominant, and rational, and that girls should be pretty, subordinate, unintelligent, emotional, and talkative are portrayed in children’s toys, books, commercials, video games, movies, television shows, and music. In adulthood, these differences are reflected in income gaps between men and women (women working full-time earn about 74% of the income of men), in higher rates of women suffering rape and domestic violence, higher rates of eating disorders for females, and in higher rates of violent death for men in young adulthood.
Gender differences in India can be a matter of life and death as preferences for male children have been historically strong and are still held, especially in rural areas (WHO, 2010). Male children are given preference for receiving food, breast milk, medical care, and other resources. In some countries, it is no longer legal to give parents information on the sex of their developing child for fear that they will abort a female fetus. Clearly, gender socialization and discrimination still impact development in a variety of ways across the globe. Gender discrimination generally persists throughout the lifespan in the form of obstacles to education, or lack of access to political, financial, and social power.
Studies show that people who identify as transgender are twice as likely to experience assault or discrimination as non-transgender individuals; they are also one and a half times more likely to experience intimidation (National Coalition of Anti-Violence Programs 2010; Giovanniello, 2013). Trans women of color are most likely to be victims of abuse. There are also systematic aggressions, such as “deadnaming,” (whereby trans people are referred to by their birth name and gender rather than their new name and gender), laws restricting transpersons from accessing gender-specific facilities (e.g., bathrooms), or denying protected-class designations to prevent discrimination in housing, schools, and workplaces. Organizations such as the National Coalition of Anti-Violence Programs and Global Action for Trans Equality work to prevent, respond to, and end all types of violence against transgender and other LGBTQ+ individuals. These organizations hope that by educating the public about gender identity and empowering transgender individuals, this violence will end.
Sexuality
Sexual identity and sexual behavior are closely related to sexual orientation, but they are different. Sexual identity refers to an individual’s conception of themselves, sexual behavior is the sexual acts performed by the individual, and sexual orientation refers an individual’s romantic or sexual attractions.
Sexual orientation is typically discussed as four categories: heterosexuality, the attraction to individuals of the opposite sex; homosexuality, the attraction to individuals of the same sex; bisexuality, the attraction to individuals of either sex; and asexuality, no attraction to any sex. However, others view sexual orientation as less categorical and more of a continuum. Rainbow & Co, an organization based in the United Kingdom, has a comprehensive list of other sexualities.
Alfred Kinsey was among the first to conceptualize sexuality as a continuum rather than a strict dichotomy of gay or straight. He created a six-point rating scale that ranges from exclusively heterosexual to exclusively homosexual (Figure 11.3). In his 1948 work, Sexual Behavior in the Human Male, Kinsey writes, “Males do not represent two discrete populations, heterosexual and homosexual. The world is not to be divided into sheep and goats … The living world is a continuum in each and every one of its aspects” (Kinsey, 1948).
Figure 11.3 The Kinsey scale indicates that sexuality can be measured by more than just heterosexuality and homosexuality.
Later scholarship by Eve Kosofsky Sedgwick expanded on Kinsey’s notions. She coined the term “homosocial” to oppose “homosexual,” describing nonsexual same-sex relations. Sedgwick recognized that in U.S. culture, males are subject to a clear divide between the two sides of this continuum, whereas females enjoy more fluidity. This difference can be illustrated by the way women in the United States can express homosocial feelings (nonsexual regard for people of the same sex) through hugging, handholding, and physical closeness. In contrast, U.S. males refrain from these expressions since they violate the heteronormative expectation that male sexual attraction should be exclusively for females. Research suggests that it is easier for women to violate these norms than men because men are subject to more social disapproval for being physically close to other men (Sedgwick, 1985).
The issue of sexual identity and orientation can be further complicated when considering differences in romantic attraction versus sexual attraction. A person could be romantically interested in the same sex, different sex, or any gender but could feel sexually attracted to the same or different group. For example, an individual could be interested in a romantic relationship with males but be sexually attracted to males and females. Alternatively, someone may be open to a romantic relationship with any gender but is primarily only sexually attracted to one sex.
The United States is a heteronormative society, meaning it assumes that heterosexuality is the norm and that sexual orientation is biologically determined and unambiguous. Consider that LGBTQ+ people are often asked, “When did you know you were gay?” but heterosexuals are rarely asked, “When did you know that you were straight?” (Ryle, 2011). However, there is no scientific consensus regarding the exact reasons why an individual holds a particular sexual orientation. Research has been conducted to study the possible genetic, hormonal, developmental, social, and cultural influences on sexual orientation, but there has been no definitive evidence that links sexual orientation to one factor (APA, 2008).
According to current understanding, individuals are usually aware of their sexual orientation between middle childhood and early adolescence (APA, 2008). They do not have to participate in sexual activity to be aware of these emotional, romantic, and physical attractions; people can be celibate and still recognize their sexual orientation. LGBTQ+ individuals may have very different experiences of discovering and accepting their sexual orientation. At the point of puberty, some may be able to announce their sexual orientations, while others may be unready or unwilling to share theirs due to prejudice (APA 2008).
Most of the research on sexual orientation identity development focuses on the development of people who are attracted to the same sex. Many people who feel attracted to members of their own sex “come out” at some point in their lives. Coming out is described in three phases. The first phase is the phase of “knowing oneself,” and the realization that one is sexually or emotionally attracted to members of one’s own sex. This step is often described as an internal coming out and can occur in childhood or at puberty, but sometimes as late as age 40 or older. The second phase involves a decision to come out to others, e.g., family, friends, or colleagues. The third phase involves living openly as an LGBTQ+ person (Human Rights Campaign, 2007). In the United States today, people often come out during high school or college age. At this age, they may not trust or ask for help from others, especially when their orientation is not accepted in society. Sometimes they do not inform their own families.
According to Rosario, Schrimshaw, Hunter, Braun (2006), “the development of a lesbian, gay, or bisexual (LGB), sexual identity is a complex and often difficult process. Unlike members of other minority groups (e.g., ethnic and racial minorities), most LGB individuals are not raised in a community of similar others from whom they learn about their identity. Their identity may not be reinforced and supported by their community. Instead, LGB individuals are often raised in communities that are either ignorant of or openly hostile toward homosexuality.”
Video 11.10 Demographic Structure of Society–Sex, Gender, and Sexual Orientation explains various aspects of gender and sexual identity.
Ideological Group Identity
Religious identity is a specific type of identity formation. Particularly, it is the sense of group membership to a religion and the importance of this group membership as it pertains to one’s self-concept. Religious identity is not necessarily the same as religiousness or religiosity. Although these terms share a commonality, religiousness and religiosity refer to both the value of religious group membership as well as participation in religious events (e.g., going to church; Arweck & Nesbitt, 2010; King et al., 1997). Religious identity, on the other hand, refers specifically to religious group membership regardless of religious activity or participation.
Similar to other forms of identity formation, such as ethnic and cultural identity, the religious context can generally provide a perspective from which to view the world, opportunities to socialize with a spectrum of individuals from different generations, and a set of fundamental principles to live out (King & Boratzis, 2004). These foundations can come to shape an individual’s identity.
The religious views of teens are often similar to those of their families (Kim-Spoon, Longo, & McCullough, 2012). Most teens may question specific customs, practices, or ideas in the faith of their parents, but few reject the religion of their families entirely.
An adolescent’s political identity is also influenced by their parents’ political beliefs. A new trend in the 21st century is a decrease in party affiliation among adults. Many adults do not align themselves with either the democratic or republican party, and their teenage children reflect their parents’ lack of party affiliation. Although adolescents do tend to be more liberal than their elders, especially on social issues (Taylor, 2014), like other aspects of identity formation, adolescents’ interest in politics is predicted by their parents’ involvement and by current events (Stattin et al., 2017).
how people come to terms with whom they are based on their ethnic, racial, and cultural ancestry
moving back and forth between moratorium and achievement
the term to refer to the biological differences between males and females, such as genitalia and genetic differences
the socially constructed characteristics of women and men, such as norms, roles, and relationships between groups of women and men
one’s self-conception of their gender
umbrella term used to describe people whose sense of personal identity and gender corresponds with their birth sex
a term used to describe people whose sense of personal identity does not correspond with their birth sex
how one demonstrates gender (based on traditional gender role norms related to clothing, behavior, and interactions), can be feminine, masculine, androgynous, or somewhere along a spectrum
a process in which people learn to behave in a particular way as dictated by societal values, beliefs, and attitudes
the understanding that superficial changes do not mean that gender has actually changed
children develop their own conceptions of the attributes associated with maleness or femaleness
how one thinks of oneself in terms of to whom one is romantically or sexually attracted
assumption that heterosexuality is the norm and that sexual orientation is biologically determined and unambiguous