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Chapter 12: Play and Peer Relationships

Play and Peer Groups

Play and Peer Groups

Play is the foundation for most peer relationships in young children. Friendships form quickly, especially if play styles and temperaments are compatible (Howes, 2009). Playing together teaches children social skills and cooperation, giving them an opportunity to explore new social scenarios with peers of a similar age.

Early Friendships

To toddlers, friends are people to play with (Howes, 2009). Young children are more likely to play with peers that they already know, and their play activities and pretend play are usually more advanced if they are familiar with each other (Arnett, 2012; Howes, 2009). However, toddlers are able to form meaningful relationships with peers that go beyond the playground. Toddler friendships have many of the same characteristics that friendships in later stages of development do; they share thoughts and feelings, fight, provide companionship, and are affectionate (Arnett, 2012).

In middle childhood (years 6-11), friendships become more selective (Arnett, 2012). Children may have less friendships in middle childhood compared to early childhood, but those relationships are often deeper and have a greater emphasis on trust (Howes, 2009). Secret keeping, support, and kindness are important values, but play compatibility is still crucial (Arnett, 2012; Howes, 2009). These changes in friendship match the changes in the type of play activities children engage in as they get older.

Imaginary Companions

An intriguing occurrence in early childhood is the emergence of imaginary companions. Researchers differ in how they define imaginary companions, but they are generally thought of as an invisible character or personified object, like a stuffed animal, that a child plays with (Taylor et al., 1993). However, it can include any person, object, animal, or character that the child interacts with but does not exist in reality (Armah & Landers-Potts, 2021). Between 20-35% of children have imaginary companions, but estimates can be as high as 65% depending on what researchers include in their definition (Armah & Landers-Potts, 2021). Some children only have imaginary companions for a few months, but others for several years (Hoff, 2004).

It is unclear exactly why a child may create an imaginary companion. Contrary to the assumption that they are compensating for poor social skills, children with imaginary companions are often quite sociable and accepted by their peers (Gleason & Hohmann, 2006). Both children who have normative or traumatic upbringings have them (Armah & Landers-Potts, 2021; Hoff, 2004). Children without siblings are more likely to have imaginary companions (Gleason et al., 2000). Imaginary companions can provide comfort, companionship, and motivation (Armah & Landers-Potts, 2021). However they are not always perfect! They can disappoint, anger, or cause conflict with a child (Gleason, 2017).

Children seem to not treat their imaginary companions differently from their real friends; they often view their relationship with their imaginary companion to be just as supportive and nurturing. Gleason has suggested that children form a schema for friendship and use this same schema in their interactions with both types of friends (Gleason et al., 2000; Gleason & Hohmann, 2006).

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Child and Adolescent Development Copyright © 2023 by Krisztina Jakobsen and Paige Fischer is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International License, except where otherwise noted.

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